Introduction
Sibling relationships are often difficult, despite being closest peers and first playmates and a vital source of support and connection to each other, they constantly fight. These sibling disputes can occur for various reasons, ranging from sharing space to fighting for parents’ attention.
Also, these disputes could sometimes make the parenting process extremely tiring. Consequently, it is the most significant thing for parents to make siblings get along. That brings us to the subject of this article, how to make siblings get along?
Being a parent of a single child is not easy but being a parent of multiple children is way harder because you need to spend extra effort to make them get along. Especially in their teens, they become machines programmed to create a dispute with the other sibling. However, there is always a way out. Let’s examine the strategies which help them get along.
Set Ground Rules
When it comes to resolving sibling disputes, it’s helpful to understand what’s causing them. Many sibling arguments are about getting noticed or something physical like a toy. Children refuse to have limited access to items they want to get.
Setting up clear timetables and processes is one of the greatest ways to avoid this type of disagreement. It is usually a big part of the solution to this kind of problem. For example, if your children are always disputing who gets to choose what game to play on the computer, you may write a schedule together and put it somewhere where everyone can see it.
Perhaps the youngsters can exchange days or half-hour time sessions. You may do the same thing when it comes to sharing toys, determining where to go on a family outing, or even deciding who gets the last goodnight kiss from Mom or Dad.
The same is valid for issues when sharing space. For example, if one child has to do their homework at a specific time, make it clear in advance that those hours will be a quiet time for everyone. No one will make loud noises.
The other kid must know this behavior as a role in advance because knowing what to expect might help siblings remain cool and control their emotions when they can’t get what they want right away. Then, this behavior will become a part of their character, and the kid will know when to be quiet. This will affect their relationship positively as they grow up while learning and acquiring these behaviors.
Promote Communication Between Kids
Many children’s earliest peer mates are their siblings. Taking turns, sharing, and settling disagreements are all skills that siblings practice, which may be beneficial even for older children.
The following strategies can help siblings get along and operate as a team:
- Recognize and reward positive encounters: You might look for ways to praise siblings together. “I just love it when the both of you study together,” you can add, or “It’s so great that you are building it well together.”
- Reward teamwork: If your children have a common interest or preferred pastime, you may encourage them to work together to achieve their goals. Perhaps there’s a kitchen activity, an art project, or another particular privilege they’re all pleased about. You may assign them a job to accomplish jointly to work toward that reward, making both the task and the communal celebration experiences.
Give Positive Feedback… A Lot
Once your procedures are in effect, training your children to follow them may take some time. During that period, promoting the desired conduct is critical while avoiding focusing too much on undesirable behavior.
This method is also known as “active ignoring.” Instead of concentrating on the wailing and moaning, we’re emphasizing when it works: when they can quietly turn over the gadget or allow their parent space to be one-on-one with their sibling. When your child is having difficulty adhering to the rules or the schedule, it’s best not to spend too much time criticizing or fighting with them. Otherwise, you make yourself their enemy as well.
This positive reinforcement does not have to be complex, some parents may exaggerate and spoil the child. The reinforcement might be a chocolate prize or additional play time, or it could just be a high five or an enthusiastic phrase like “Good job letting your brother have his turn on time.” Even a small amount of parental attention and encouragement, especially for younger children, may significantly make siblings get along.
Be Honest About Sibling Differences
It is common for siblings to have completely different demands, obligations, and daily routines. It’s common for children to point to their siblings and ask, “Why is he/she treated differently?” It’s not fair!”
The first step in cases like these is understanding the distinction between “fair” and “equal.” Making everything equal is not always fair. You need to explain very clearly why there are such differences and try to be intimate while discussing those differences between siblings and why with your children. If a younger child is upset because the older sibling gets more chocolate prizes, explaining that the older sibling is simply completing schoolwork during that additional hour might be beneficial.
This can also be an opportunity for children to adjust to the concept that life isn’t always fair – perhaps one child’s school schedule just runs longer each day than the other’s, and no one in the family can change that. However, while doing that, try to do it in balance because you can decrease the kid’s self-confidence by making them think that they cannot succeed in obtaining whatever is desired.
Determine Roles and Duties
One especially confusing difference between siblings arises when older children assume greater responsibilities within the household. These extra obligations, whether babysitting younger siblings or finding a job to help cover expenditures, may be unpleasant for older siblings.
If your family is in this circumstance, the following measures are useful for you to help them get along:
- Define duties explicitly: Have an open discussion about what is anticipated with everyone. Make sure older siblings understand what type of assistance you require (and that you appreciate it) and that younger siblings comprehend what their siblings are doing.
- Give responsibility but check them often: Even if you must rely on an older kid, the boundaries of duty should be explicit. You don’t want to make them feel like they have all the burden. When should they call you in? What should they do, and where can they get help if they need it? You must make these clear.
- Be supportive: Keep the discussion open and allow your older children to communicate with you and get the emotional support they need, especially because adolescents and young adults typically struggle with a lot of stress in their own lives.
Be Clear and Age-Appropriate
Parents generally utilize practical methods to make the rules explicit to everybody. This will depend on your children’s ages, as well as their personalities and learning preferences. Timers for turn-taking or clear visual timetables frequently work effectively for younger children. The key thing is that they need to be able to predict what’s going to happen next.
For older children, a written contract on which everyone works and signs might provide an opportunity for siblings to communicate and make it easier to achieve an agreement on common goals. You may typically take a more conversational approach to problem-solving with teens. Phrases like, “Hey, we observed you and your sibling both want to play with this toy. How can we solve this?”
Conclusion
In this article, we offered some strategies on “how to make siblings get along?” We know that every child is different, and some may not work for some siblings to get along because each child is different. However, at least one of these strategies would help you. Especially if you constantly break up your children’s fights, you have nothing to lose if you try these useful strategies.
